Guest Post: Guy ~ God's Angels Gone Early

Today we are lucky enough to have Guy with us Guest Posting from The Baby Butterfly Foundation - he is an amazing person who was willing to share with us all his story. Please take a moment to read his post, visit their site, and feel free to leave comments in response on our Facebook page.

Breathe In…Breathe Out…

Breathe in. Breathe out.

As my world was collapsing all around me, I almost forgot how to do that. As my baby girl was receiving her angel wings two rooms away in the ER, breathing became so difficult and foreign. I couldn't find the air.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Two years and six months seems an eternity ago. It's strange, but this loss is such a contradiction in time. To think of all the kisses and hugs...the smells...the laughter and the crying...they are almost a distant memory that I struggle to hold on to. Yet, thinking of the call...the tears...the agony...the shattering of my heart into a million million pieces...that happened just yesterday, didn't it?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

How have we made it this far? How did we start The Baby Butterfly Foundation for SIDS Outreach in Mia's honor? How is it that I can share our story with so many families in the loss community? How do I find the strength and remember to breathe? In Him.

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with His comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation. For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives."
- 2 Corinthians 1:4-7

When I was asked to write a piece for God's Angels Gone Early, I didn't think twice or hesitate. Of course I accepted the offer. That's one of the ways I share my suffering...so that I may find some comfort. And that I, in turn, may comfort someone else in their suffering.

I'm not going to recount the story of the day Mia died. If you'd like to read about it, please, by all means. You can find it on my blog, holyghostbumps.com. And I pray that it strengthens you. What I am going to do, however, is try to give you hope. If you're new to the child loss fraternity/sorority, hang on. It doesn't necessarily get easier. It just gets more bearable. You remember to breathe in and breathe out...to put one foot in front of the other to string along a walk. I haven't found the ability to run in happiness and peace again just yet. But I'm confident that one day I will. My faith in Christ assures me of that.

If you've been on this grief-journey for awhile, you probably have more tricks of the trade to get you by. And what could I, a relative newcomer, have to offer? How about a kind word and a prayer? If your faith has been shaken by your loss, as my wife's was, I would encourage you to hang on as well. Our Spring is coming.

I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that He knows where you are when you find yourself in the dark. As I’ve told my wife so many times during those first months, call on His name. When you can say nothing else, call on the name of Jesus. It took a couple years, but she's not mad at Him anymore. She has found her faith again. Make no mistake, everything's not honky-dory. But He's working on it.

The bottom line is this...it's hard. It's an extremely difficult thing to bear losing your baby. But you're not alone. Never alone. You have others who are experiencing the same thing. You have family and friends (though they often say the wrong things, bless their hearts). And you ALWAYS have Christ.

I realize that you may not believe in Him anymore, or you may never have experienced what it's like to have a personal and intimate relationship with Christ. But I make no apologies for my faith. It's what has carried me through all the darkness and pain. It's what enables me to lead my wife and children. It's what allows me to relive that fateful day each and every time I reach out to another family that loses a child to SIDS. It's what will enable me to see Mia again. And what a glorious day that will be!

Until then, I'll keep breathing in. And breathing out.