Guest Post: Rudy's Story

Today we are lucky enough to have Sandi with us- she is such an amazing  person who is willing to share her story with us. Please take a moment to read this post and feel free to leave comments in response on our Facebook page. 

 Rudy`s Story

            In July of 1991 I became pregnant with my fifth child. I can remember it was an extremely hot summer. I was tired and feeling sick from pregnancy. My two and a half year old, Mihkela often took baths with me and one day she asked me why I was feeling so sick. I told her that soon she`d have a new brother or sister. She was thrilled and told me that she would pray for me. We are Christians, I gave my life to the Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ in December 0f 1974.

        I was informed by two physicians before my marriage that I would be unable to conceive and more than likely be sterile. Remember after being married awhile, I went to my Heavenly Father, knowing He can do ANYTHING because He is Creator most powerful, great and mighty! God is faithful, and Seth Isaac was born. My receiving womb continued to bear four other children, Corey Williams, Johnna Elizabeth, and Mihkela Estelle-Virginia and the child to be born in March of 1992.

       Sure I had the normal feelings of sickness that accompanies pregnancy. Each pregnancy caused its own cravings and this time around it was plums. FINALLY made it through the sick times and I felt so blessed to be pregnant again. It also thrilled me in a special way as this time I was still grieving over the recent death of my father.

       My pregnancy was progressing normally and I felt great, just a bit uncomfortable toward the end. Went for an ultrasound in January and son Corey, and daughters, Johnna and Mihkela accompanied. They were able to see their little brother turn around and 'look' right at us. He wanted us to know who he was. Truly awesome.

       I was quickly approaching my due date and we were busy getting everything ready in order for the big day. I had two friends that both were pregnant also and we had gotten together a few times. We`d kid each other about how big we were getting and strange eating habits.

      Mom arrived beginning of March and was staying until the baby was born. Friends gave me an wonderful shower.

     Went to the doctor`s on Thursday, just before the baby was to be born. Steve was planning on delivering our baby and he was with me when we heard a strong heartbeat. This baby was ready and we were anxious to meet him.

Made this wood carving. Broken Heart.

     Sunday was sitting with my feet elevated, Indian style. My daughter, Mihkela was nuzzled in close and her brother Rudy John gave her such a kick. I saw her move and she said; "Whoa Momma" and she giggled. Never realized he was saying good-bye.

    Monday morning around 5am. I was in my usual comfortable position. I didn't know it yet, felt Rudy move for the last time. That afternoon went for a stress test with my husband to see if I needed to be induced or not. It was March 23. We were joking with the nurses about simple things. Nurse applied the jelly on my belly. Laughed about how cold it was. The nurse moved the monitor around and nothing registered. She tried another monitor. Nothing. Another nurse came in to help, nothing. They called the doctor in. The doctor told us the baby was most likely dead. 

    Reality...it was already hitting Steve. He was being strong for me. We had a ultrasound and a neurologist came to us and looked us straight in the eyes and said, "I`m sorry, your baby is dead." I began to sob and it snowballed into uncontrollable sobbing from the depths of my soul. Steve said, "Sand, its alright" because he wanted so much to console me but I started screaming.  Reality Hit.

    We could of stayed at the hospital. We decided we needed to go home and tell everyone first hand. I didn't feel much like a woman of faith. God is gracious and merciful. I have since learned that we have faith in the midst of terrible pain and sorrow.

Our Adopted Kids. Andrew, Ethan, Grace Rose, and Luke.

    All the tears that were shed when we got home. The kids were looking forward to their new little brother. My labor started. When we arrived at the hospital the nurses were advising me to hold my baby and spend time with him. I said, "I don't think so". I wanted a C-section or to be knocked out. I begged and pleaded and demanded. No one listened. I knew somehow the Lord was with us. At 2am my water broke everything started to happen pretty quickly. Rudy John was born at 8:30 am on his due date, March 24th.It was a rough delivering for both of us. Had trouble delivering his shoulders. He was a big boy. 22" long and 10lbs. 5ozs. The nurses were wonderful. They took pictures and we held him. They left us alone and told us we could have as much time as we needed. We counted all his fingers and toes. He was gorgeous. Strong looking with beautiful dark hair. Then we realized what was wrong with this picture. The joy that comes with a new baby was missing. We held him close and rocked him. I nursed all my other children and could already feel my milk coming in. This little one will not be nursing. We had so much trouble leaving the hospital, Our little boy would not be leaving with us.

     The day we went to the funeral home was beyond painful. Our children and their Grandmom got to meet Rudy and a couple of close friends. Know the Lord was carrying us and holding us extra tight. We held each other tight as well.

     Grief does come flooding in. We joined a club we never wanted a part of. Many days of not knowing how we

Our Bio Kids Today. Johnna, Corey, Seth, Mihkela,
and Luke(he is our youngest adopted-He loves his sibs). 

would ever survive minute to minute. SLOWLY, ever so slowly. Our days were just that days. God somehow picked up or faces and our hearts off the floor. Many people tried to help. Cards and visits, phone calls. One day, a dear person sent a card with this Scripture, Romans 8:38,39.Where it talks about God`s Love is real even in death. Appreciate her reaching out, knew that she had been in the same club as me. She had had a few Miscarriages.

     Its twenty three years since Rudy went to Heaven. We all grieve differently. Looking back someone how we gave each other room during those extremely rough days. We have song that we call Rudy`s song we play every year on his birthday. We all call each other on his day. Not one day goes by that we don't miss him. It hasn't gotten better its just different. 

     We were given a ministry to help other families. Its called "Little Lambs". We share our story and give the family a little lamb. Then six years after losing Rudy we felt we were to bring in kids who never knew the joy of a loving family. In 1999, we got our Foster License and have adopted four children from the system.  -Sandi and Steve

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